Somehow, weirdly enough, I’ve managed to let my first year at college slip by almost unknowingly. It hit me just two days ago that this Friday(the one gone by) was our last working day of the semester. Sure, we’ll be coming for exams for another month but…as a class, we’ve been dispersed. We’ve ended. In more ways than one.
You know, this one year at college changed so many things. So much happened; so much didn’t happen. I let go of that one thing I thought held me together, just to realize that it really DID hold me together but my being there actually didn’t matter all that much to the other party. I got to know myself so much better. I got to know what real friends are like; I know no one’s gonna be there for me, no matter what they say. I understand what really matters and what doesn’t(some people who should know this by now don’t have a frikking clue). I’ve done this, I’ve done that. I’ve flirted with the senior who was attesting me during a practical viva. I’ve fawned over a player I know I have no chance with(not that I really want it, anyway). I’ve gotten over(I think) something I’ve seen a lot of people crumble beneath.
I was so sure I wouldn’t make it.
I guess I’m stronger than I was made to think I was.
It’s a weird thing, growing up. Things just…stop mattering all that much, suddenly. You’re okay alone. You don’t need friends to hang out with. You don’t want a boyfriend running after you and scaring all the other hot(or not) guys away. You don’t want giggly girlfriends to stalk the college hotties with. You can, honestly, do all that and more, alone. You don’t really want anything.
Apart from your iPod, headphones, cup of strong coffee and that sweet guy at the counter who’s always willing to chat so you don’t feel all that lonely.
Cheers. To everything gone by. To all that is yet to come.