Have you ever embarked on a holiday with a large group, be it a joint family, friends or colleagues? Considering you have, dear reader, have you ever shared a room with more than two individuals apart from your majestic self? If you have, you will be letting out fervent “gah!”‘s and “oh God, yes!”‘s at various points in this article, mentally thanking me for penning down what you have as of now merely thought of(and screamed about, pulled out your hair at etc). If not, consider it a friendly word of caution of what is yet to come.
We know it takes all types to make this world, and some of these types, though perfectly amiable when dealt with at regular-yet-short durations, can succeed in being the most annoying co-vacationers the universe has ever seen. So much so that Zeus himself would fail to keep calm and would whack them on the head with a divine lightning bolt, given the chance. Below are listed the most common of these types of vacation terrors and some that I alone seem to have had the misfortune of travelling with.
- The Bathroom Hog – Always the last to wake up, always takes the most time to get ready – this type succeeds in delaying the whole team, with abuses and threats having no sort of effect whatsoever.
- The Fussy Eater – This specimen is so rigid with their eating habits that it is almost impossible for you to experiment with the local cuisine. At the end of the day, your ‘iron-walled stomach’ has to go back to digesting butter chicken and naan, wondering about its real purpose in life.
- The Party Animal – Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when their excessively late nights lead to them snoring till noon and having a perpetual hangover, all you wish is for them to resist activity of any kind and stay put. Speaking of which…
- The Sloth – This being hates to leave the Hotel premises. It can be found either watching reruns on Telly or soaking in some sun on the beach beds next to the pool, or lying in it all day. Getting them to leave the Hotel is like taking steak from a lion – you may lose a hand.
- The Paranoid Android – That blighter who just WILL NOT go even to the beach without half a litre of Hand Sanitizer and the same amount of Odomos covering every exposed part of their skin(“Hey, it’s mentioned on the pack!”). This person will just REFUSE to try anything new, visit an attraction that is even a tiny bit off the beaten track(or requires a little bit of physical exertion) and thinks they’ll get kidnapped, never to be found again, if they visit a night club.
- The Eternal Hippie – It starts off as fun but suddenly you realise that it just won’t stop! This person is perpetually intoxicated, so much so that you tend to forget what they were like sober. Apart from not being able to walk and leaving you constantly worried that they’ll either break a few bones on the stairs or die of alcohol poisoning, their condition doesn’t let them wander too far from the starting point(mostly being the resort’s Bar), thus leaving you stranded and not able to carry on with all the wonderful exploring you had looked forward to. The party animal and the Hippie are usually interrelated.
- The Worrisome Granny – Similar to the Paranoid Android, but this species is worse as it not only restricts itself but also your activities for fear of death or worse, completely overriding the fact that you are a responsible adult and perfectly capable of making your own decisions.
- The Tired Kid – One of the most annoying things about travelling with people is when you’re all set to go on climbing to the top of that pretty hill and all they want is to stop right where they are and plop themselves under a tree, crying about how they can’t go on. It’s even more frustrating when you’re supposed to be the physically unfit one. But it doesn’t have to be ’cause they’re tired; they may just have the attention span of a teaspoon.
- $crooge McDuck – Like its namesake, this specimen sits like the figurative snake on its wallet and refuses to spend money, thus forcing you to forgo the rare, pampering luxuries that you are so fond of and go for boring economical options throughout the trip.
And last but definitely not the least,
- The Bear Grylls – That one ray of hope whose enthusiasm for exploration and adventure makes you see them enveloped in a celestial halo but soon proves to be nothing but a death wish, dragging you into perils you had scarcely envisaged and dangers you had definitely not thought yourself capable of surviving.
Whatever categories your fellow travelers fall into and the plethora of inconveniences they may cause, vacations with groups are always a test of will(and nerves), but they leave us with some great memories and prove to be a lot of crazy fun, in retrospect.