“I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
She was worried; distraught, even. Her heart could be heard pumping away like a little mine worker – blub, blub, blub – the muffled sounds vibrating through her throat, into her mouth and all up to her head. Even though the night was calm and welcoming, with all its cool and lack of sound, she couldn’t put herself to sleep. His little worker could also be heard beating away in tune with hers, right next to where she lay her head. His soft snores and mild beer-breath were oddly comforting. They were what she had come to associate with the word Home.
That was exactly what she was afraid of.
Things were ending. Term was nearly over; and not just any term. This would be the last one. The one that guaranteed them not coming back. The one that guaranteed there being no more chances, no more “I’ll try again next year”s. All that they’d taken for granted the past 4 years was about to be snatched from them…
…and there was nothing they could do about it.
It wasn’t just him, of course. He was but one of the many rickety pillars she had erected to help support the ever-crumbling platform of her life. There were other friends; there was the freedom, the nonchalance and the devil-may-careishness that came with college. There was the assurance that no matter what happened, it was all just an exam and exams can always be given again. “It’s just a bad semester. The next one will turn things around,” they’d always said; and it mostly did. But what was one to do if there was never to be a next semester to rely on?
He murmured sleepily and snuggled closer. She looked at his dark lashes and the moustache shrouding his slightly parted lips. How she would miss this sight. It’s often the simpler things that catch us by surprise; innocuous everyday actions that remind us how very human we are and thus, how very fragile. She landed a soft kiss on his lips and smiled as he hugged her tighter in his sleep. She wished that would hold true for life too.
The room was full of people they knew and adored: friends, brothers, even the odd sister. College is one of those times you come across the most important people you will ever meet in life, along with those not worthy of more than a shared cigarette. If you’re lucky, you might find a soul sister and hold them close forever. If not, you’ll still make it through with a group of people you could spend a whole day without wanting to strangle(which is saying a lot). One day, however, all of this will end. You will be left on your own, reminiscing about those carefree years, wishing it could be as easy to find a shoulder to cry on as it was in your first roommate.
Working life changes people. Grad school changes people. Moving away changes people. All in all, you will never have again what you have today, as you sit under that tree at the edge of the football field, laughing and playing cards. You’ll be reminded diligently year after year of that day by Facebook; you’ll see the picture, feel nostalgic for a while, probably share it and tag your friends with a little “<3”. But that moment has changed, those people have changed. Nothing is constant, all is temporary. Life is fleeting and if you don’t catch it, it’ll just flash before your eyes and disappear, like that metro you missed. Before you know it, it would’ve become a shiny beam of light and metal being swallowed into a tunnel and *POOF*, like that it’s gone.
Don’t let the tunnel swallow your light.
She caught herself staring at him and shook her head. What was to happen, would; whether that meant they would lie like that together for all their years or alone, in other beds, with other people. What mattered was that the future stood there with its doors wide open, welcoming them into a world of unimagineable possibilities and countless opportunities. She closed her eyes and held his hand.
It was time to take the plunge.